"People change over the years. That changes situations for good and for bad"-Bobby Knight
The 90 day rule. Some of us have heard it from word of mouth or in movies. If you don't know what the 90 day rule is, it's when two people meet, get in a relationship and they only show their good side which only lasts for 90 days. After the 90 days, people tend to get comfortable with each other and start showing their other side. Sides of them that you never knew about and may not even like.
As the old saying goes, "Times change, people change." In relationships, why is that so? Why can't people be the same just like when they first met? The Honeymoon phase is what I call it. People tend to outgrow each other. For example, the older you get, your way of thinking changes. If one person is becoming more mature and the other is still living an immature life, that can separate the two and result in a break up or divorce. I highly suggest counseling if that starts to happen. Don't give up so easily on a relationship or marriage that you spent so much time investing. I don't know about you guys, but I hate starting over. I hate starting a new relationship by learning who they are, what they like to do, what are their goals, are their parents crazy, etc. If you really feel deep in your heart that you cannot be with your other half any longer and counseling won't work, just leave.
I have personally dealt with a relationship where I have grown spiritually in my walk with God as I have gotten older and the person I was with was refusing to go to church, wanted to drink, smoke and party every weekend. I wasn't into that type of stuff anymore. I sat down with him and told him that I'm not trying to stop him from having a good time; however, if he could at least meet me half way and go to church with me once a week, I would be fine with that. He refused to meet me half way so that showed me that we have taken two different paths in life as we got older and it was time to let it go. I was hurt about it, but in the end, I was at peace.
In relationships, we need to keep the fire going. Get that "old thang" back. When you start to see your relationship going in a downward spiral, make some changes. Do things that you used to do. If you used to dress up nice all the time when your other half was around, do it again. I'm sorry but your significant other does not want to see you scruffy 24 hours a day. Look nice for him or her. Plan date nights 1-2 times a week if you haven't been out with them in a while. Do something romantic without being asked......anything to let that person know that you are putting effort into something worth fighting for. When things don't go right, go left. Try to make a change for the better!
-Markesha xoxoxo
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